Family Home

My parents have a large, inviting home. They wanted something with enough space so everyone wouldn't "get under each other's feet" and be comfortable.

My family home is modern both in decor and furnishings but also extremly comfortable. We have a large living room that is great for family time. In addition to the upstairs their is a basement which is fully furnished and a welcome retreat when friends are over.

The bedrooms are decorated to fit each individuals personality and what is comfortable to them. (Of course paint color choices still had to be approved by my parents.) Bedrooms are private and people are taught to knock before entering. These are private domains and great places for sometimes much needed alone time.

I feel that we have flexible boundaries. We know all of our neighbors very well, however, we do lock our doors at night and have an electric fence for our dog.

Isomorphic Fit

My family home is very open, warm and inviting. Friends and other family members are always welcome. A line in the book is a perfect example of what sometimes takes place in the living room-"The family room is a place that invites occasional wrestling matches and storytelling sessions."

STRESS!

As some of you may have read on some of my previous blogs, we lost my father a couple years ago due to a tragic car accident. This was and still remains the worst and most stressful time in my life.

I remember getting the phone call just moments after I pulled out of my work parking lot. At first I was in complete shock, disbelief and devastation. 45 minutes later I finally reached my home and my mother and I had the horrible tasks of going to the school and telling my brother and sisters the horrifying news. Our lives would never be the same.

During this time we experienced every stage of family crisis.
SHOCK-complete and utter disbelief. "This can not be happening!" We did not want to accept what was happening.

RECOIL-We said "It's not fair!" We would have done Anything to have our father back. "It wasn't his fault." (Which actually was a true statement-another driver ran a stop sign with no headlights on and did not even attempt to slow down). Even though we knew we shouldn't be; we questioned God. "Why?" "Why him?" "Life's not fair." We also were very angry.

DEPRESSION-Our anger slowly turned into depression. All of us, whether we wanted to admit it at or not, were suffering from depression. My oldest brother Ryan was hit especially hard.
Ryan turned 16 the day after we laid my dad to rest.

REORGANIZATION-In an attempt to help us put our lives back together, my mom took my siblings to Erin's House. This is a place for grieving children and their families to talk with other people in similar situations and let out their emotions. We are extremely thankful to have had Erin's House in our lives. We were also surrounded by a great support system in our family and friends.

Due to the fact that my mom was now a single parent we needed to re-evaluate our lives and how we were going to go on as a family. By using part of the Level II coping strategy in conjunction to a support group we were able to modify our rules and make changes to our daily lives.

Our tragedy was definitely a Horizontal Stressor. The untimely death of a parent or loved one disrupts the life cycle.

Family member anaylsis